Allah loves good character, especially in one who controls their anger; He said on this subject in the Noble Qur'an "who master their rage and forgive others – for Allah loves those who do good."
Anger is good when it is in defense of the truth, but even within that allowed scope, there are rules to respect. Anger in the face of a transgression must not lead one to transgress the limits.
Some advice related to anger:
Control yourself. According to Abu Hurayrah – may Allah be pleased with him –, a man said to the Prophet ﷺ: "Give me some advice: Do not become angry," the Prophet ﷺ replied. The man repeated the same request several times, and each time he told him: "Do not become angry." This is a rule here that is very important in psychology, and indeed this companion, after reflecting, realized that anger was a source of harm.
"Put out anger with water." Indeed, one should advise drinking water or performing ablution, because during anger the heart rate speeds up, and water will help calm and bring down the body's heat in order to think more clearly. This point is important since, in the heat of anger, many are those who divorce, insult, and this even with the people they love.
"Seek divine protection against Satan." Indeed, the Prophet ﷺ advised an angry man to say "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan."
"Control your words." The Prophet ﷺ said "When one of you is angry, let him remain silent."
Withdrawing, reflecting in order to draw closer to Allah will help us avoid uttering insults. The recommendation to remain silent is essential, since anger can make us say things we will later regret. In addition to this, one may change rooms, read the Qur'an, and rest.
"Control your actions": The Prophet ﷺ recommended that an angry person sit down or even lie down. This avoids making big gestures and being violent.
Moreover, one may also use natural sedatives such as herbal teas of passionflower, lemon balm, or valerian.
Taking a sedative will help promote the effect of dopamine and also of oxytocin, which will help bring calm.
"Think of the merit, the merit of controlling one's anger." The Prophet ﷺ said: "Do not become angry, and you will enter Paradise."
And here is also a very beautiful recommendation of the Prophet ﷺ: "The strong one is not the one who defeats his opponent, but rather the one who proves able to control himself and control his anger."
✔️ Article reviewed by our Dr. Abou Ibrahim
What the science says: linden, valerian, and calming herbs
What published research says about the remedies mentioned above, for context — the studies address material causes, while healing belongs to Allah.
Linden, valerian, and calming herbs
Valerian improves sleep quality according to several meta-analyses (Am J Med, 2006) (J Evid Based Integr Med, 2020); linden contains anxiolytic flavonoids (J Ethnopharmacol, 2008), and a network review compares herbs against anxiety (passionflower, lemon balm, lavender…) (Pharmacol Res, 2022). Precaution: do not combine valerian, passionflower, or hops with sleep aids and anxiolytics without medical advice; avoid before driving; use for a few weeks at a time rather than continuously.
